RUOK day: One Call Away

R U OK? I hope we haven’t forgotten to ask you when you need it the most. R U OK day is an initiative that was started to encourage us to ask simple questions to combat the silent lethality of suicide. At the end we have ideas that are just One Call Away, to stay connected during these socially distanced times.

We hope this finds you well, but most importantly we hope it reaches you early, when your sad days are few and far in between. It is most likely coming to you when sadness is all you’ve known for a little while yet. I suppose you may be finding yourself slowly reaching that point where the switch flips from despair to searing numbness, its getting closer and you don’t quite know how to stop. Let me tell you friend, hope is just around the corner, or if we’re being covid-safe, just one call away.

I can imagine it would be hard to suffer in silence, using all your energy to always be putting on a smile for those who have the pleasure of your acquaintance. Life seems to keep throwing its heaviest punches your way, and somewhere along the line you stopped letting us know about it. Maybe we said we’d call you back one too many times, maybe there were one too many strangers on the street that didn’t smile your way, maybe you’ve been watching the news on your own, noting down the daily death counts and not being able to visit your wife with dementia who is in a nursing home. You’re struggling to comprehend it all because your own cognition is declining too, we just didn’t know it then. In the end, you’re alone for a second, you have a knife or a drain pipe, a shoe lace or bedsheets for a noose. I can imagine it feels like the only way out, the only way to get away. Let me tell you friend, it is not.

You’ve never been the type to want to inconvenience people with your emotions. You told me once you felt too little to speak, or too much for anyone to handle. You found yourself looking up from the bottom of a pit and everyone above you kept walking past without realising you had no way out. So you stopped asking; stopped waving your arms about and your flares had run out, so you sat in the shadows hugging your knees. Let me tell you friend, you are not an inconvenience. We all have stories we’d go back and change to make sure we could convince you of that for certain.

We’ll sit here and listen, we’ll wait till you’ve told your story and we’ll chip in our own frustrations for you. We’re on your side. And all the time, we are in awe of someone from whom all the courage that they ever had was needed to ask for help to help themselves. Whatever question we may pose to you, we know that the courage to reply may have to be from an empty place where you feel like no courage ever could be. Let me tell you friend...

Isolation and social distancing makes suffering in silence so much easier, and so much harder. Don’t fret little pet, the Internet might be riddled with pitfalls but this is something it can be useful for. In 2020, while we were realising all of the things we’ve taken for granted before us we also found other ways of connecting. I ask one thing of you, say yes to an outstretched hand. If you can, send out another flare, the internet has an infinity of them. Let me tell you friend, we’re only one call away.

If you have a helping hand, reach out with these R U OK Iso Ideas.

-Exercise: Watch2gether to share YouTube at home workouts. Started by a couple of exercise queens in New Zealand when they were heading into weeks of stage 4 lockdown, this strategy provided motivation and connection.

-Isolation trivia: Live-streamed for lockdown. Make a team and share screen on Zoom.

-Quizup: only The Biggest Trivia Game! It’s an app where you challenge your friends, and other people around the world, to quizzes about various topics of your choosing.

-Netflix party: Iso saw some of the hot hits of 2020 including Never Have I Ever, Indian Matchmaking and The Last Dance (not to mention all the feel good classics you can revisit). All of which would be made better with sideline commentary from your friends via netflix party.

-Online Games: This was a big hit long before iso was a thing, in fact I vividly remember my brother yelling to his friends over a game of COD at 3am years ago.  If you can figure out Steam Gaming Platform you can even play CATAN online! Other options: Jackbox games and the Houseparty app. 

-Bookclub: choose a book to read as a group and try to go at the same pace so you can chat about it and really learn. I was forced to remove “watching lectures over Microsoft Teams” as a social activity, so this is a close alternative.

-Spotify Group Playlist: Share your fantastic music taste with your friends! And this way you have something to play when you’re all together again. 

-Food: Use the same recipe and video call each other while baking your favourite sweet treats e.g. Cupcake Jemma. 

There’s hardly anything chocolate can’t cure (except diabetes sorri, Ref: Whatcha gon do with that desert). 

Alternatively you can drop off food for a friend. Nothing quite beats the feeling of eating something that a friend has taken the effort to send your way.

-Youversion devotionals: this is a Christian Bible app that lets you do devotionals with friends where you each read the same thing daily. 

-Share a meme, save a life! (Ref: Laughter is the best medicine. Lol wat?) Nothing quite makes the sun shine brighter than a spicy meme from a good friend.

                       

-Painting: have a go at a YouTube painting tutorial together. Bob Ross is a classic.

I’m writing this for you if it will even help to fill just one of your lonely moments because let me tell you friend, you’re not alone.

-evieroo