Proverbs 14:10 The Heart's Bitterness and Joy.

Proverbs 14:10 (KJV) 

Although I’ve read proverbs before, the reason I looked into this passage today is because I came across it in The Pilgrim’s Progress. Christiana, her four boys and Mercy are going through the Shadow of Death with Great Heart as their guide when they quote this verse. Proverbs 14: 10 The heart knoweth his own bitterness; and a stranger doth not intermeddle with his joy.

The writer of proverbs means those times when you feel like no one can understand the pain you are going through. Our hearts know their own bitterness but no person, no matter how intimate, no matter how close or like-minded they may be, can see into the depths of our heart. There are many dark corners, knees falling to the ground, heads bowed and tears shed that even our best friend does not know and may not ever understand.

Although now it’s become clear that being vulnerable with others is vital to the human connection, I’ve also learnt that it’s okay that they don’t fully and won’t ever fully understand. They’re not there to satisfy your need because your need is created to be fulfilled by the almighty and they’re not God and never should be expected to take his place in such matters. The truth is God is there, not for my pain and not for me but he is there because he is God. He is the star of this story and I am a side character, a flower quickly fading, a wave tossed in the ocean. But even still, despite his position, he came down as a man and he does understand. Today, he is listening and instead of going to him demanding answers and demanding him to change the situation we are called to go to him in humility and surrender to his ultimate will and plan, knowing he understands our pain, feels it as acutely as we do and knows the very depth of the bitterness that is in our hearts right to the very worst of it where we think no one can see.

On the other hand, we want to share every ounce of our joy with other people. I was surprised by joy being mentioned in this verse because it’s not something that I’d thought much of before. I didn’t think joy had the height that sorrow had, nor did it matter as much that others did not feel as i felt when i was soaring, flying, as long as something happy in me made them happy too!

Now i know, that like the ocean reaches deep and the sky rises far, so as deep as sorrow goes, as high does joy. 

As another cannot know the reach of the deep of our heart so can they not know the heights to which our joy can go. This can be because the joy is all the more sweeter for the depth of the sorrow that came before or because it took the intricate workings of our exact story, trials and temptations to know the joy we feel today. We’d like to have a living breathing human  being that understands just how much joy fills our heart in that instant where the sun freezes mid-fall and the sky is streaked with all the warmest and most joyful colours the world knows. And yes, we should share joy and awe with others, there’s not enough of it in the world already. But don’t rest in other’s appreciation of your joy, because they can’t ever fully intermeddle in what you’re feeling. Your joy is your own, Jesus can see it and he rejoices with you, you are blessed to rejoice and called to rejoice, and again i say rejoice!

So 'the scope of the proverb may be, to keep men from murmuring under their own troubles, or envying other men's happiness.' But whatever lesson you take from this verse the truth is that there is no man that can fathom the height of our joy or the depth of our sorrow, none other than Christ. 

I find it easier to go to God in my sorrow than to other people. Even back when I didn’t understand how exactly he could help me it was easier to go to someone I couldn't see to share my vulnerability and pain than to share it face to face, to be truly intimate and vulnerable and it was easier to write about it than speak about it because you don’t have to watch as someone doesn’t react the way you expect them to, or say what you want them to say at that moment. In God, whether we truly believe he’s listening or not, I had an ear that I could scream at, place blame on and shift my burdens onto. 

Now I see this - that Jesus was involved in the way we are knit together in our mothers womb and in our existence today, in a way so intimate that even our own parents could not fathom. He wept human tears that look just like ours and he was tempted just like we are and has taken his overcoming human experience with him to heaven. In him we have someone who can share our darkest corners, our sorest and most painfully bent knee and our heavy heads lowered to the ground. 

Thank you Lord for understanding the depth of bitterness and the intricacy of joy. Thank you for giving me a God that can share in my life with me, that leads me and cares about me. Thank you Jesus for allowing me to know you, and the father through you.

“Each in his hidden sphere of joy

or woe,

Our hermit spirits dwell and range apart.

Nor e’en the tenderest heart, and next our own,

Knows half the reasons why we smile or sigh.”

- evieroo